Coping With Loss
by merikflame
Summary: What extremes will Ruby go to when coping with loss? Takes place before Ruby goes to Signal Academy. Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY


Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since Ruby and Yangs mother died. Both girls were devastated, but the one who took it worst was Ruby. She had trouble finding ways to cope with the inevitable depression that came after.

Yang had decided to quit it with the moping and move on, knowing that Summer wouldn't want her to dwell on the past.

Ruby POV:

I sat in my room in the shared apartment in downtown Vale. Yang was probably sleeping by now, which was all the better for me. I didn't want her to see what I was doing.

I rolled up my sleeve just to see multiple scars. Each given to me by myself each night. I couldn't rely on simply crying anymore, I needed a way to localize the pain, I needed... Well im not so sure what I need now.

I reach into the drawer to the side and pull out the knife. I start to cry as I remember the reason I do this. "Mom..." I say to myself. I bring the knife down to my arm but before I could begin the door opens and Yang strolls in.

"You know Ruby, I've been thinking and we really need to go do something fun to..." She trails off when she see's the knife held to my wrist, the scars up and down both my arms and the tears flowing down my face.

With tears now in her eyes she grabbed the knife and tossed it out the window.

"Ruby...how could you do this to yourself?" She asks through her own sobs.

"JUST GET OUT AND DON'T TALK TO ME!" I scream at her. I really didn't want to scream at her, but all my pent up emotions were driving me crazy. Realizing I was in no mood to talk she hesitantly walked out and closed the door. As soon as the door was closed I could hear her burst out in tears. Bawling her eyes out back to her room.

Letting my own tears flow free I throw myself into my pillow and bring my blankets up over my head. With my only way of coping gone I was just a mess of emotions. Slowly I cried myself to sleep, unsure of how to go on.

...

Next morning it had become apparent I had run out of tears. Yang was at the kitchen table eating breakfast, her face was still red and wet from crying, she obviously didn't sleep last night. As soon as she saw me enter she started to get teary eyed again. "Ruby? Are you ready to talk about it?" I didn't say anything and just got my breakfast. I had nothing to say.

"Ruby please." She half yelled half whined.

I didn't even look her in the eyes, I just silently ate my cereal.

"Ok, I can see you don't want to talk about it, I'm going to class now, I'll tell uncle Qrow you said hi." She stated while doing her best to hold back tears. As soon as she left I finished my breakfast.

I got dressed and went into town in search of a suitable way to cope, I looked through stores and saw nothing but clothes and small gizmos,probably the latest cell phones everybody was excited for. But none of that would help me cope with the inner pain.

I stopped at an alleyway and went behind a dumpster to cry, my tears having inexplicably returned. I sat there for a while just crying. Then a man in a brown trench coat came and sat next to me.

"Tough times kid? Yeah I've been there, ever tried this?" He said as he handed my a syringe. "W-what's that?" I asked nervously. "Its brown dust, it does good to alleviate the pain" he said.

Reluctantly I took the syringe, if this would help me cope I would try anything. After he helped my inject it I felt awesome. All the pain of losing my mother was gone. Replaced by nothing but the feeling of joy. "Got anymore of that?" I asked, still in bliss. "Yeah, but it'll cost ya." He said with a grin. I bought all I could with what I had on me.

...

"Uh... I feel awfull." I said to Yang. The high the dust gave me had worn off and it left me feeling worse than before. Yang felt my forehead, "your not burning up. You should be fine. Im glad your actually talking to me." She said with a warm smile. "Don't worry Yang, I won't cut anymore, hold on I have to use the bathroom." I blurt out quickly as I run to the bathroom, shaking drastically I get the brown dust out and am about to inject it when Yang throws the door open.

"Ruby, are you sure your ok?" She asks. Then her eyes grow wide as she see 's what I'm doing. "Ruby... why?" She asks, tears running down her face again. I don't answer her and use the dust. "Ruby no!" She yells. She immediately grabs my other syringes and throws them into the trash, then she sets the trash on fire.

I wouldn't be able to feel sad for a few hours, so I didn't care that they were all gone yet.

...

"Y-yang? Can I borrow some lien?" I ask shaking uncontrollably. "No you can't! I won't let out throw your life away!" She yells before closing me in my bedroom door and locking it.

Suffering from withdraw and the pain of loss returning I stumble over to the drawer and pull out the thing I never told Yang about. At this the emotional and physical pain had grown to much for me to handle, I was at the breaking point, tears started flowing down my face.

I bought this gun for self defense last year. I never had to use it and now it seemed like I was out of options. I bring the gun up to my head and think of all Times I've had with my mother.

"Ruby, I'm sorry I yelled, it just that... WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She yelled before she tackled my to the ground. "YOU WANT TO THROW YOUR LIFE AWAY?!" She screamed at me, her eyes had gone red and her hair had set on fire. I started crying, I couldn't take it anymore.

_Couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute._

_Couldn't take another moment without you in it._

_All of the joy I've come to know for all my life,_

_Was stripped away from me the minute that you died._

_To have you in my life is all I ever wanted,_

_Now with out you im a soul forever haunted._

Months past and I was beginning to move on. I got unhooked from the dust. I stopped cutting, and I threw out the gun. Yang had gotten me professional help after that faithful night. All my sadness turned to hatred for the Grimm. It made me want to be a huntress.

"Ruby! Good news!" Yelled hang as she burst into my room. "What is it?" I ask, slightly shocked at her sudden entrance. She simply handed me an envelope. Hesitantly I open it and joy filled me. A feat that could only be accomplished with brown dust only a few months ago.

"I got in! I'm going to signal academy!" I yelled, happy I got accepted in. "Your gonna have to design a weapon to get in, try not to go over the top." She said as she left.

Over the top was the farthest thing on my mind. I already had one decided my head, a red version of my mother's white scythe... with a sniper rifle inside of it.

"Maybe a little over the top is a good thing."


End file.
